Losing a baby…

When you start the year, you never know what awaits you in the months to come. You hope that the year will bring you great days and beautiful moments. You never anticipate the grief and sadness you might face.  And when that grief comes, it feels like someone kicked you in the stomach.

A month ago, we lost our baby. One day I was 20 weeks pregnant and the next I was not pregnant anymore. baby2

I cannot begin to describe what I felt. Losing a child makes you feel like your world has fallen apart and the grief it comes with is something I would never wish on anyone. As a woman, it causes you to question almost everything. As a Christian, it shakes the very foundations your faith is built on.

It has been a month since that fateful Sunday morning that found me in Nairobi hospital casualty. I have not fully grasped all that happened and I have not figured out how to proceed. However, I’m sure I will get through this…One day at a time. I will get out of this a better and stronger person. And when I do, I will tell you about it 🙂

For now, I’d like to ask you a favor. In the course of my research on miscarriages, I noted there’s not much about the cases in Kenya. It’s not something people speak about easily and I understand why. Losing a baby sometimes brings a woman shame; you fear you may not be able to do what you were created to do. Some women feel its their fault and they don’t want to talk about it.

As I was reading through the articles on the internet, I was surprised at how common miscarriages are. 1 out of 5 women get a miscarriage. Shocked? So was I. If it is so common, how come there’s such little info about it?

Here is how I’d like you to help…I’m looking to find Miscarriage support groups in Kenya. Also, any information on miscarriages will be highly appreciated. Kindly drop me an email at wanjirukihusa@gmail.com and share what your thoughts.

21 thoughts on “Losing a baby…

  1. I will be 31 weeks on Wednesday n I know the kind of bond that already exists between mum n baby by week 20…I may not have ur experience but I know how painful it must feel losing a child. however,in the bible we r told that David found consolation and comfort in the death of his child because he was assured that, although the child could not return to be with him in life, the angel was already in heaven. I pray that the God of David gives U strength to overcome all this for only him understands why this had to be…. only him gave David other children after this grief n so shall he be gracious to U n Ur family!

  2. It takes courage to write about something as deep as a loss of a child. I continue to pray that God is ever close ever near to both of you. Yes, you are strong and this will make you stronger

  3. Sweetheart, it must have been very hard sharing this. I know there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better but I have to say that u r one strong woman. Please know that u r loved.

  4. It is still so taboo, which is too bad for those of us who have suffered, to some degree, in silence.

    I have experienced 3 and hope–dearly hope–not to experience any more.

    Blessings to your body and heart…


  5. So sorry for your loss. A friend of mine also lost her 1st Baby at only 3months. The good news is, she got pregnant again and now just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Do not worry and do not let the enemy shake your faith. I’ll pray for you. This too shall pass
    You serve a mighty God

  6. One day at a time…one day at a time…you are a courageous woman! “Everything worketh for the good of all those who love the Lord.” He knows and He cares. Keep the strength and courage you have shown in penning down your experience

  7. He has and will carry you through. I was really wondering why you went mum. I love that you took that and turned it into a mission to help other women out there. You are such a blessing, namesake. You will be a great mum, no doubt. 🙂 All the best in that particular endeavour.

  8. I understand your pain, I was there once and I know it’s not easy. Sometimes the pain may seem unbearable, but with time God replaces it with an immeasurable glory. May God give you a new song and restore double fold!

  9. Hi dear, sorry for that but know for sure that God cares and He truly loves you. We cannot be able to say pole but the God of peace will fill you with His peace that surpasses all human understanding. Love you dear.

  10. Pingback: Mummy Tales Losing a Pregnancy at 20 Weeks -Wanjiru Kihusa's Story

  11. Oh… I kept checking your blog for progress on your pregnancy journey. I like how you tell your stories and I couldn’t wait for your own mummy tales. Still, God is your Rock and no eye has seen, no ear has heard what wonderful things he has in store for you. May he wrap his comforting arms around you and your husband as you recover. Praying for you. Read Psalm 31:24.

  12. That’s a true observation. My wife shares with me about friends who lose their pregnancies. It does seem a common thing but that is where it stops. I’m joining the hunt and will let you know when something comes up.

  13. Wow… Sorry for the loss. I’ve not practically been there but I have been with those who have-and it’s breaking to say the least. I don’t think it’s out of shame that people don’t discuss it, rather, women probably don’t see the point. For those I have met, unless it happens 3 consecutive times or something like that, they are told it’s normal (by gynas). It happens. My advice, above getting info from the net and finding support groups, ask your gyna what cut coz for everyone its pretty different from weak uterus, to negative rhesus blood (my mum miscarried coz of that too), to….. endless list. Pole all the same.

  14. I lost my baby two weeks ago (at 19wks 6 days) and I cannot seem to dry off my tears as I was overly excited….having bought some nice lil` tings for the expected 2nd born. Am also looking for support groups to help me n other to come into terms with the loss.

  15. Pingback: Mummy Tales Things Not to Say to a Woman Who Has Just Lost a Baby

  16. Pingback: Losing a Pregnancy at 20 Weeks -Wanjiru Kihusa’s Story | Mummy Tales

  17. Pingback: Things Not to Say to a Woman Who Has Just Lost a Baby | Mummy Tales

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