When I went to school where I was taught many great things. I was taught to work hard in life, to never be mediocre in life. I was constantly reminded that I was as good and as bright as my male friends. Looking back, I’m glad for that advice; I have excelled both in class and in my field without ever feeling I was less adequate than my male colleagues.
Over time though, I have learnt something that I could never learn in a classroom. I have learnt that it’s enough to be me, that I don’t have to prove a point to anyone because I’m a woman. In the office, I work hard because I love what I do and I enjoy serving my customers not because I want people to see that am as good or better than the guys in the office. I’m comfortable in my skin, I’m a happy being a woman.
Marriage has played a huge role in the person I have become. Because I’m a Christian, the Bible teaches me to submit to my husband. I have to be honest; submission does not come automatically just because you’re now married. It is something you work on every day. When you grow up being independent like I did, it is hard to let someone lead you as you follow. I have had to unlearn some things I have told been told over time and to pick up new worldviews from the Bible.
The Bible has taught me that being independent is not necessarily a good thing, it is good to have someone to lean on. You don’t have to fight this world’s battles all alone. Actually Christianity is a community gospel, we are taught to look after each other. There is nothing like being a lone ranger.
Marriage has taught me that being a woman is a beautiful thing. I have roles cut out for me and so does my man. I appreciate when he sorts our bills because honestly I don’t want to have to deal with the landlord. I enjoy cooking and I do house chores with ease yet when my husband cooks dinner I can just see how stranded he gets. He will almost always make rice or buy take out – sorry baby but it’s true 🙂 God is a God of order, He assigned us certain roles and then equipped us with strength and skills to do them.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ignorant of things like bills just because he sorts them. I have comfortably dealt with them when he’s not home. My point is that men and women have things we’re wired to do with ease, they’re like second nature. Life is so much easy when you do your part instead of doing things to prove a point. We know you can take the car to the garage and get it fixed. We do. Don’t do it just so we see you can.
As a wife, I have learnt that in the office, my colleagues and I are equal but at home my husband is the head. In the office I lead, give instructions, conduct meetings but at home I am a wife and a soon-to-be mother. And the best thing is, am ok with it. I’m not tolerating being a wife, I’m loving it! I do not feel bad that my husband leads, I’m thrilled by it.
This realization is the first step to being a good helper to your husband. You cannot help him if you’re not at peace with your place in his life. You cannot begin to help him if you let him lead grudgingly.
In the next post, I’ll share what I have learnt on being a suitable helper. Thanks for reading!