Working wife/mom: Introduction

For the last 2 weeks I’ve been thinking of working from home, entrepreneurship/ business and that kind of stuff. OK, let me go back a little. I’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, a choice that has raised quite a debate from my friends but that is a topic for another day. Now that I’m married and planning to add to my family (ahem) I’m even more convinced I don’t want an 8-5 job.working mum1

One of my very close friends got a baby at the start of this year. After her 3 months leave, she went back to work last month. We met recently and she told how she would quit employment if she could. Then she said, “I’d love to be there for my son, never miss the milestones as he grows. I feel awful being at the mercy of my house-help and my boss.”

As I listened to her I realized I wanted the same thing too. And which mother wouldn’t? No mother wants to come home and find her baby started walking while she was in the office! Plus I have heard terrible stories of house-helps who tell you they’re leaving at 7:00 am just when you’re leaving to go to work. Woe unto you if you have a bad boss. I once had a colleague who brought her baby to work because she had no choice. Sigh.

I would love to be there for my baby’s first word, to teach my children about God and instill good values in them. I do not like the idea of a stranger (house-help) teaching my kids weird values/behavior or worse putting them in front of a TV to pick up whatever is on air as she goes on with her life.

I went to a parenting seminar during FOCUS conference 2011 which was jumping the gun since I wasn’t even married yet 🙂 It’s never too early to start. Yes? Anyway, here is something the speaker (Dr. Mukolwe from Navigators) said that totally changed my thinking.

     “No one wants to be a house-girl when they grow up, circumstances force them. They are there because they have to be. You have to remember that to them, that is just a job. That is not their child and so they have no obligation to go beyond duty of feeding and keeping your baby clean. They cannot love that baby the way you do.”

Family vacation

Family vacation

Having said that, I know most women would quit employment in a heartbeat if they had the chance. So, what is stopping them? Money. When you look at your family expenses; mortgages/rent, food, fare/fuel etc you begin to appreciate the fact that you have 2 salaries in the house.

Am not oblivious of the role of money in life. I would love a relatively comfortable life where I have a roof over my head (hopefully not a rented one), I can take my kids to good schools and even go for vacation every now and then. I’m painfully aware that all these things need money and it doesn’t grow on trees (thanks mom for the constant reminder.)

But I have been thinking, do you need to be employed to have money? No. There many people making much more money in freelance work and business than they would be making in employment. Not to mention the flexible working environment.working mum2

Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying women should not work. Even the Proverbs 31 woman was not lazy; actually she is the most hardworking person I’ve read about – merchants came from far away lands to trade with her. What she did however was work around her family. We read about her setting portions for her maid servants and making clothes – I doubt I fall here 🙂 She even buys land – a vineyard to be precise! But note that her household affairs are in order.

Verse 27: She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

It is these thoughts of being there for my kids (and husband 🙂 ) that got me thinking about freelance work and business. I’ve been reading up and doing a lot of research and I will share with you what I learn as time goes by.

Stay tuned….


15 thoughts on “Working wife/mom: Introduction

  1. Very interesting view. I would gladly support my wife if she would be willing to be a stay at home mom. Then together we would set up investments just incase something happened to me. I guess it would be wise to also get a business that she could run easily. It would be difficult to hire someone whose been out of work for say 10 years and expect them to be up to speed immediately. My two cents.

    • Thanks Aaron! Great to hear a man’s perspective.I dare say your wife will be very lucky :)You have raised very valid and business. Something she could do even when the kids are older and she doesn’t have to go back to look for a job.Nice!

  2. Thats so sweet and encouraging dear. I feel you and mark you am a freelancer as i take care of my 6 months old baby girl. I enjoy every part of working as i nurse her though sometimes its so demanding with tight deadlines, housework yet my family needs my attention.

  3. That makes two of us. You are speaking to my heart Carol! N I agree a womans highest calling is to her home and family.

  4. Thats indeed true. It needs courage & lots of sacrifice for parents to instill Godly character in their children in this modern society. It can never be done any better without this kind of a sacrifice u are talking of. Indeed I would support my wife fully if she chooses this way which may appear very unpopular in the current society. Together with her, I would wish to be there for my kids as I meet their needs too. May God help us.

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