With this ring: Wedding Vows Part 1

This morning I woke up thinking of wedding vows, specifically the ones I said. They take like 5 minutes in a wedding ceremony but in essence, they are the wedding itself. Without them, there really is no wedding. The whole point of having witnesses whether at the AG’s office or in a big public ceremony is for them to witness you say these words to each other.ring3

Way before I got married, I used to wonder why people have to say vows. I mean, we love each other. Why do we have to promise things that are so obvious in the presence of a multitude of people? I figured I love this man; it shouldn’t be that hard to love and cherish him FOREVER. Now, I know better 🙂

I have discovered that if it was an easy thing to love another person through thick and thin, we would not need to say vows. Think about the oath presidents take when they’re getting into office. If serving everyone without fear or favor was an easy thing, the president would not need to swear to do it.

We say vows because what we are promising to do is hard and every now and then we need a reminder. They are there to keep us in check and constantly remind us that we gave our word. They keep us from packing our bags when the going gets tough. You want to tell me the president has never thought -‘this stuff is hard. I want to just go home?’ Am sure he has. But then he remembers what he swore to do for his people and he finds a way to get past the hard part.

Even in the bible, David, a great king, came from battle one day to find his town raided by his enemies. The people he had gone fighting with – the army, were discouraged and turned against him, blaming him for the loss of their families. If they had not taken David to war they would have been home when the enemy struck and would have protected them. Imagine how David felt. Tired from battle, his wives and children captured and now his men blame him. In 1st Samuel 30:6 David encouraged himself in the Lord then he went after the army that had attacked his town. He did what he had to, regardless of how tired he was and even without the unwavering support of his men. He had sworn as King to look after his people. He had to keep his oath.

See what I mean when I say vows are there to make you keep your word?

Here are the vows I took and my more enlightened view on them-thanks to experience 🙂

I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband: What this means is I’m marrying you in accordance to the laws of this country. Even the law, read constitution, acknowledges our marriage. It is not a promise made on the side of the road or in a moment of passion. No. It is an oath that can stand in a court of law. That’s how serious it is!

I will love and care for you #1: in sickness and in health

I will love you when you have a cold and a running nose. When you have a fever or a stomach upset. I will stay up with you when you have a cough and cannot sleep. I will love you when you have a lump somewhere and we are terrified it could be cancer. I will love you through the scans and tests and doctors’ appointment. I will love you through the chemo and dialysis. I will not only love you, I will care for you! I will bring you tea in the middle of the night. I will sit with you when you go to the dentist and bring you yoghurt – the only thing you can eat after a root canal 🙂

Whenever I think of this vow, I think of all those people whose spouses have terminal illnesses. The ones whose loved ones have lost their memory and cannot even remember them. Those who sit on their bedside throughout holding their hand all the way. Can I love my husband like that? I sure hope so..

Stay tuned for Wedding vows: Part 2

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2 thoughts on “With this ring: Wedding Vows Part 1

  1. Watching the movie “the notebook” always brings to mind the severity of our vows and the love that transverses all things. Noah loved his wife even when she did not recognise him and their children. I keep praying that the marriage story can be told from such perspectives and not the classic 105 maina and king’ang’i’s perspectives.

    • I totally agree..people should be told how good and amazing marriage is. Its true there are people having a bad time with their spouses but there are marriages that are working, there are people who are happy 🙂

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