I’ve been married for 8 months now and it’s been amazing. I look back and am amazed at how much I have changed. If the person I was 2 years back met the person I am now, she wouldn’t recognize me.
Marriage is beautiful! Simply put, it’s spending a lot of time with the person you love – now what could be better than that? It is having someone who has your back all the time. A breath of fresh air – when the world has harassed, you have someone who is there to make you laugh!
When you are dating, time never seems to be enough. You meet for coffee and then he sees you off and you both go to different homes. I remember I used to look forward to the day we would both go to the same house and nightfall would not signal the end of our date.
So we decided we wanted to get married. We did everything that needed to be done. One of the highlights was when he came and told my mother “I love your daughter and would like her hand in marriage” – old skul but really cool!!
So the negotiations began. We are from different cultures so the dowry negotiations were pretty interesting – I will get into that another day. We then called our parents and friends – not to mention gatecrashers, and swore to love each other “in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty, forsaking all others, till death do us part”
Now, I have to say vows are pretty heavy stuff. You don’t go promising such stuff to someone without thinking it through – this too is a topic for another day.
I’d like to mention that marriage is not for the faint hearted. Don’t get me wrong, it’s the best decision I made last year and I’ve extremely happy about it. What I mean is, you must be ready for all the things you will discover-not about your spouse but about yourself!
Before I got married, I thought of myself as caring, loving, kind and all those nice adjectives. I thought anybody would be lucky to have me – it’s the truth, I’m a great wife 🙂 but that’s not the point. The point is marriage revealed to me just how selfish I was, just how I loved to have my way and every now and then I have encountered something not so nice about me.
God has a serious sense of humor –he hooked me up with someone different from me in so many ways. Heard that expression that opposites attract? So true. So you constantly wonder (sometimes aloud), why can’t you be like me? Why can’t you see things the way I do? I want us to do things my way -see what I mean by selfishness?
This discovery has caused me to constantly go to God and ask Him to change me and make me a better person. To teach me to love genuinely just like He loves us. To teach me to love even when I feel my husband is not worthy of my love – read when I’m mad at him!
I have admitted that I don’t know how to love and have gone back to God, the pro on all matters love, and asked to be taught what it means to ‘lay down my life for another’ – John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
My 8 months of marriage have taught quite a lot. I’m not there yet, but I’m definitely a better person than I was at the beginning of last year.
To all in relationships, I challenge you to be conscious about the ugly things that relationship reveals about you and to do something about it. Change to become a better girlfriend, wife, mother to the point this can be said of you: Proverbs 31: 29 Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.