Yesterday I had a very interesting chat with my mum. Age has refined me in very many ways. One of them is the way I relate with mum. My mother is your typical Nyeri woman, tough. Yes, I’m Nyeri and regardless of what the media says, I don’t beat my husband Back to my point – discipline was not a foreign word in our house. We grew up hearing “As long as you are under my roof, …… is unacceptable” Looking back, I know this strictness was necessary because as a teenager you think you know it all.
A lot has changed. My mum is now my dearest friend, my oldest girlfriend you may say. I call her and we laugh about life, she gives me advice on how to treat my man – most of the time its unsolicited but she gives it anyway. What has changed most is I call to cheer her up and give her advice on things- and she lets me. Not just advice on which phone to buy, but serious life issues. She treats me like an equal. Very great place to be I tell you.
She has been unwell for a while. She has a wound on her right hand that can’t let her do anything. For someone who is always busy, she has not taken this well. She can’t believe that she can only seat around as someone does things for her. Mum is quite proud too, she refuses to ask for money unless she absolutely has to. Now that she can’t go to the market to sell her stuff (she farms) and she has to go to the hospital every now and then, she finds herself needing money. All this has been a huge source of stress to her and she has been down a lot.
So, yesterday I gave her a call to cheer her up and make her laugh. I told her that God has a reason for everything – He knows why she’s hurt at this point in her life. Maybe He wants her to take a break and rest for a month or so which she would not do if she was well. When was the last time you visited a close friend? I asked her. Take a stroll (she lives in shags) and visit them one of these afternoons. Use this time to get well deserved rest and build relationships.
To push my point further, I shared with her something I experienced last year. Here’s what I told her:
After we came back from our honeymoon, I stayed home without a job for one and a half months. Now, I had cleared campus in April so technically that was 3 months of no job. To make matters worse, our faculty requires students to take an internship of at least 8 weeks for them to qualify for graduation.
Planning for the wedding kept me busy up to June so I didn’t notice my lack of a job. When I came back, over half of my class had internships. Some had even finished and were already graded! Of course I had applied to so many places, but I had not received any offer. Now you begin to see my anxiety.
So every morning, I woke up, prepared breakfast for my husband, packed him food for lunch and saw him off as he went to work. I would spend my day in the house, sending out applications. At some point I volunteered at a school in my neighborhood at their computer lab but with a degree in IT, I felt underutilized.
Sometime in July, a couple of my high school friends came to visit me. It was an amazing visit and we had a great time. I couldn’t help but notice they all had jobs, one of them was even driving – they packed in my spot, which I had never used :) They didn’t throw it my face but I noticed.
When they left, I thought; I have no job and my friends are doing so well. I worked hard in campus, I studied, I didn’t cheat in exams, I genuinely did my assignments and project yet half the people in my class already have internships and here I am. I was so down and discouraged. As a Christian, I felt like the Lord had disappointed me, like I had gotten a raw deal and yet I had stood for God and served Him.
At the end of July I got an internship which lasted 3 months and immediately after I got an amazing job. I have learnt that God is always on point, He knows what he’s doing. Looking back, I see that God wanted me to rest, to get a bearing on my marriage. It is during that time that I learnt to bake (I had time to test my oven) and how to make meal plans (which helps me to date). I also learnt that God does not owe me anything, He will bless me because my obedience to him but I cannot use things I have done for Him as bait for him to bless me. It doesn’t work that way! So, I relaxed.
Are in a plateau of sorts, stagnant in a way? Things don’t seem to move? Or they’re moving but not in the way you’d like? Don’t sweat small stuff. Instead, enjoy the moment, rest if you should, this moment will pass.
Relax. God is in control. He knows what He’s doing.